Beyond Forgiving

As a child, I always looked up to my parents as my only source of inspiration and love. I can still remember how I loved to personify my father’s strength of character and wisdom in dealing with the elderly in our small community; they looked up to him as the epitome of stoic will, determination and innate intelligence.

He came from a destitute family who believed that life is all about eating, drinking and dying, but my father’s indifference to the ignorant beliefs of his elders made him struggle to find education beyond his parents’ disapproval by volunteering to work as a duck-tender for a “landed” relative at a tender age of eight, driving the fowls to the river each morning and swimming his way to the flock each afternoon in order to bring them back home. He was not treated and fed well, walking miles each day on bare feet and ragged clothes just to be able to attend school, yet his early cognizance of the hardships of poverty drove him to stay to achieve what he wanted: a simple elementary education which he completed when he was fifteen. In his quest to finish high-school, he proceeded to our province’s capital city to work as a dishwasher and all-around-worker for another relative who happened to own a small eatery. These he did just to earn a place to stay, little food to keep him up and some loose change for his needs in school. Public elementary and high schools are free of tuition fees. He eventually finished high-school at second place and years later, he joined the U.S. armed forces in America’s fight for democracy against the Japanese. This feat had made him “the big fish in a small pond” in our little place.

My mother was my father’s “little dummy” whose dedication and love for her husband easily transformed her from a landowner’s daughter to a doting wife whose only direction in life is to love and to follow her husband’s way. They could have easily complimented each other had it not been for my father’s bitterness of his past.

My father was a good provider. He was a man of strict principles and he had a vision.

Although quite successful and respected, my father’s past drove him angry and full of hate; we had become the outlet of his past frustrations in life. He was easily irritable and his moods were unpredictable. Beyond idolizing his principles, we were very tense in his mere presence.

I adored my father, but his character had setup the distance between us. I can never recall a day that my father had hugged me (or anyone of us 6 siblings), much less tell me that he loved me. It could have been the greatest reassurance that I as a child can get from his parent, no matter how angry he might have been with something or someone else.

Growing up as a teenager, I cannot avoid the feeling of envy upon seeing my peers being casually talked to by their parents, who sometimes give them tips how to woo their first love, or hinting them not to give in too strong, knowing the pain it gives when things go wrong.

As a kid, I was afraid of even fighting for myself because as a disciplinarian that he was, I never felt that my father will stand up for me when I’m in trouble. I was more afraid of the punishment that may come than to stand up to confront my aggressor. I am a very obedient son. My father told me to always stay out of trouble. He never told me that we when are right, sometimes we have to stand up to fight and be a “man” without getting punished.

My father was a well-read fellow even in that remote countryside. The folks looked up to him because of his knowledge and sound opinions. He is the village adviser on almost every aspect and he could have easily been the best in my young eyes had he overcame the ghost of his past in order to be at peace with himself and everyone else, and he could have told me that living the present moment each and everyday is the best way to savor the only life that God has given us. The past needs to be forgiven for what it was.

I still admire my father. His teachings have rooted deeply inside my heart. But I have taken steps to modify a few things that need to be rectified and that is to demonstrate and express my unconditional love to my wife and children, to stand by them beyond a wholesome discipline, and to forgive the past that had shrouded me, for living in the past only hurt us more rather than give us the vindication we wanted to see.

I learned

That love is the strongest tie that bonds the family together

That the parents’ assurance of support is
the child’s spring of confidence to face the realities of this world

That it is beyond forgiving that we can live our lives anew …

Problem Solving: My Way

Life is a complex thing that is always associated with the sense of fulfillment. All our endeavors are geared towards a direction that we have set for ourselves. These are our goals that fuel us up with desire, the mainspring of action that will bring us to the very crest of our objectives.

Getting the most of what we want in life is not an easy task as our efforts are almost always beset with problems that need to be eliminated before we can hit the target. Problems are obstacles that pull us back from getting specific objectives. We need to overcome these hindrances in order to keep us on track and at the right pace. We need to solve each and every problem that comes along and between us and our specific purpose. Facing and solving problems is life’s most common battle. This is the very reason why many problem-solving techniques had been developed.

The way I look at it, problems are but challenges that measure our steadfastness and determination to get specific goals, for beneath every problem is a rewarding fulfillment. If avoidance is not possible, problems need to be resolved rather than neglected, for it is in solving the problems that causes are won. Here are some of the approaches I do to solve my problem/s:

Establish the goal.
A specific goal needs to be established. No problem exists in the absence of an objective. We need to know exactly what and where we want to arrive at in order for us to properly determine our track and direction. For complex problems, it is sometimes necessary to for us to draw the steps leading to the point that we intend to arrive at, as in a work flow chart or an algorithm. This way, we can already identify potential problems, thus enabling us to find ways to avoid some before these can even occur. Knowing our direction is an important aspect in problem solving, as what Diana Ross said, Do you know where you’re going to?.

Identify and define the problem.
know or define the problem. Asking ourselves what
is the problem and to seek to understand more why we think there
is a problem is recognizing what caused it in order for us to get an objective approach to solve the problem at its root. Make a list of the problems that have been defined and categorize them according their nature, e.g. ordinary, legal, technical, medical, etc. Seeking the advice of experts could greatly help in the formulation of very effective solutions to the problems at hand and their opinions are more often free if their expert work is no longer necessary during the next and succeeding steps. “Hitting the nail on the head” is the best way to get it through. A page for every problem is recommended in order to facilitate entry and monitoring of suggested solutions.

Set your priorities.
Identify which are “wants” and which are “musts” in relation to the established objective. Sometimes, our way towards a goal becomes complicated because we tend to prioritize what we want rather than what must be, in order to close the loop. Musts are the needed factors that make a process most effective; wants, on the other hand, are personal preferences of the people involved in a certain process, creating a possibility for a deviation which compromises the outcome of process results.

Brainstorm for solutions.
Ask for the opinions of others. Brainstorm for solutions to the problem. Somebody may have gone through the same situations in the past. Problems are not unique, the same problem could occur to different people at different times, and effective solutions may already have been discovered. Asking for free advice from peers and friends is a good effortless way to solve a problem unless it’s too personal or too private to share.

Plan your course of action.
In the identified problems list, write all the proposed approaches, putting on top the ones deemed to be most effective. Plan your course of action with regards to the resources needed to implement the solution, (e.g. people, budget, equipment, etc.). If you are a manager or a supervisor, communicate the plan to those who will be involved in implementing it. Have the plan implemented and monitor its progress against a pre-determined time-table. If the solution works, scribble the words “SOLVED” in the same problem list, specifying the current date and placing the list in a specific folder together with the rest of the problem’spertinent records for future references. If the approach failed, the next alternative should be implemented. This cycle should be repeated until a suitable solution is reached.

Thank the people who helped you.
Acknowledging the efforts of those who contributed in finding and implementing the solutions to our problems is the best reward we can give to the people who in one way or another had extended a hand to bail us out of tight situations. These are the people who helped us attain our goal, they also helped us learn.

Note: This same article was submitted by the same author as a test-essay to academiaresearch.com.

Bloggeries.com's Blog Forum-The Way To Show Off Your Blogs

Hey Folks, I’ve got some special news for you.

Bloggeries.com is a site where bloggers converge to share their thoughts, tips and ideas. This is also the place where problems are shared and solutions are offered by fellow bloggers. Can you imagine how you can learn new blogging tricks for free?

Bloggeries.com’s blog forum is offering such an opportunity, from the basics of blogging to the more complex blogging tips. Blog forum is also the place where you can show off your blogs, have these reviewed by fellow bloggers, increase your blog’s traffic and win friends in the blogosphere.

Be a member of Bloggeries.com and join blog forum now, its free.

Bloggerwave.com - The Smart Way to Advertise

In any business, information campaign is a must, as this is about the only way that will keep your targeted audience aware of what you are going to offer.

Today, the internet is the best forum where you could market your products directly to millions of prospects right at their homes or workplaces without you being there at the same time. In the internet, you can do advertising and marketing with your prospect actually doing the job for you.

Millions of dollars had been generated by marketing through the internet, and for this reason, the internet is here to stay for good.

Advertising is one of the best tools for marketing your products and services. While advertising on air through radio and television is very effective, these are also expensive and limited.

The internet offers a better, cheaper and more personal way to market your products, and the smartest way to do it is to advertise and make money through Bloggerwave.com.

Bloggerwave.com is the place where your products are advertised by real people who had either used or reviewed your products themselves.Bloggerwave.com is the place where first-hand-experiences by the users of your products are shared for the world to know. These are live testimonial blogs of your products’ integrity that can do wonders to your company’s revenues.

Try Bloggerwave.com and see the difference yourself.